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sportsHigh School Sports

If mascots fought each other to decide the area round

Some pretty fantastic local teams will face each other in the area round this week. To see actual analysis and predictions of these games, you need to read Corbett Smith's breakdown here.

I'll leave the smart stuff to the smart people. What I can contribute are hypothetical scenarios in which team nicknames (Warriors, Eagles, etc.) from area round squads battle each other. This obviously does not mean that the team who wins in these is the team I think will win the real game.

Amarillo Sandies vs. Arlington Martin Warriors

Amarillo Sandies logo courtesy of Amarillo ISD
Amarillo Sandies logo courtesy of Amarillo ISD

Strengths: It's a sandstorm so stabbing/shooting it will do nothing (think the Sandman villain from Spiderman).

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Weaknesses: While its defense is highly-effective, the Sandies' weak point might be the lack of a clear offense. Sure it could punch you, but sand is, well, sand. The biggest threat it could pose is getting in your eyes or mouth and being really irritating.

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Or with:

Warriors

Strengths: Fierce, powerful, probably sword- or spear-wielding.

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Weaknesses: Never bring a knife to a gun fight.

VERDICT: Warriors continually try to strike Sandies for hours until collapsing of exhaustion. Sandies win unless Warriors bring a vacuum-cleaner or a really big fan.

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Skyline Raiders vs. Rowlett Eagles

Skyline Raiders logo courtesy of Dallas ISD
Skyline Raiders logo courtesy of Dallas ISD

Raiders

Strengths: On a horse, so quick. Has a pistol. And if he gets caught, that mask will disguise his identity...right?

Weaknesses: Horse could go rouge, buck raider off and run away. No superpowers. Pretty much a guy with a gun and a horse...and a bandanna.

Eagles

Strengths: Wings, talons, beak, ability to ruin your day at the beach from above.

Weaknesses: Bird brain.

VERDICT: This is a tough one. Eagle could swoop down, claw, peck the Raider into oblivion, but I'm going with the guy with the pistol.

Denton Guyer Wildcats vs. Southlake Carroll Dragons

Wildcats

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Strengths: Claws. Quick. Guyer also has one of my favorite logos in D-FW high school sports.

Weaknesses: It's not a dragon.

Dragons

Strengths: It's a freaking dragon.

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Weaknesses: This particular dragon is susceptible to dying its hair blonde.

VERDICT: Is the dragon still a dragon? It is? Ok then.

Jesuit Rangers vs. Rockwall Yellowjackets

Rangers

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Rangers; 1) keep our parks safe and clean 2)  are an elite and extremely impressive part of the U.S. Army and 3) won the AL West this season

Weaknesses: Bee stings hurt.

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This is where a yellowjacket gif would go if it didn't give me nightmares.

Mesquite Poteet Pirates vs. Wylie East Raiders

Pirates

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Raiders

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